You responded to a private Facebook message from your high school sweetheart. You forgot to go to the event. You shared something you shouldn’t have with a friend. You went somewhere you said you wouldn’t go. You kept secrets. You lied. You cheated.
You lost trust.
Has your spouse checked out of your marriage? Perhaps they have made it clear that they are no longer happy in the relationship. Are all indicators pointing towards separation or even divorce? Are you begging them to go to marriage counseling, but they won't even consider it as an option?
I can help.
In his book, Take Back You Marriage, Dr. Bill Doherty discusses the research around divorce. For example, are you aware that research states that forty percent of couple that have divorced regret the decision? Now that is less than half of couple who regret their decisions, yet still many lives are disshelved due to an unnecessary divorce. In this book, Dr. Doherty discusses that for many people, they reach a point of pain and fear in their marriage which blurs their view of your marriage and leads them to using poor judgement regarding which path to take their marriage. He lists a number of indicators that you have reached this point. From his book he lists this indicators as follows:
When you discover your spouse has had an affair it is absolutely devastating. Your mind spins. You rage against how your spouse could betray you and your family. You are dying for some support and empathy. Who do you speak with? Often people turn to those in their lives who are supposed to have their backs - their friends and family.
Infidelity is one of the main issues I work with on a consistent basis with couples. When they come to counseling, their relationship is already in crisis. The tips above are a good way to start repairing the damage caused by infidelity. Along with the author's 3 tips from the video, I also wanted to share my own advice.