You know that pretending sex isn’t an issue in your relationship isn’t going to fix it, right?
You may think about it every now and then…but it is just awkward. So awkward. You may be secretly wondering how much your friends have sex with their partner, but asking them would just be too weird.
Each night you lie in bed, wondering if your partner may try something, or maybe you don’t even expect it anymore-it’s been so long. As you get in your head and think about how long it has been you probably wonder where your partner is getting it from because it sure isn’t from you. You worry that your relationship may end if you don’t do something. You may even contemplate opening your marriage to other partners. It wouldn’t be that bad of an idea, would it? Then they could have sex and you wouldn’t have to think about it.
Or maybe you are the angry and resentful partner. Every time you try to touch your partner, they give you that look. The eye roll. Or they are never in the mood. Or they have a headache. Or kids are in the next room. Or they have to get up early. Or you didn’t do the dishes. You are tired of feeling like you have to force your spouse to have sex. When you do have sex with them, they don’t even seem to enjoy it. Who would want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you? You are tired of rejection. So tired.
Are you hoping to read this page and find the thing that will allow you to start having sex with your partner? You’ve googled “I have no sex drive,” “How can I have sex with my husband?” “My wife won’t have sex with me,” or “How to have an open marriage.”
Has sex become about frustration, guilt, or pressure?
You may think no one else will get it, but the truth is, where you are at is not uncommon in relationships. You may be the partner who isn’t interested in sex and may or may not be interested in changing that. Or perhaps you are the partner with the stronger desire for sex and you are angry and resentful that you never seem to do it. Or when you do have sex, it doesn’t work out as you planned.
If only things could be like they once were…
The good news is, sex therapy can be helpful and effective at getting couples back on track. I’m here to help.
Some common obstacles addressed in sex therapy counseling:
Low sexual desire
Your partner wants sex more than you do.
Body changes/image issues
Not feeling sexy
Wishing your partner would just “get it over with”
Not being able to shut off your mind
Sex is or has become boring
Not knowing how to please your partner or knowing what you like sexually
Sex has become a chore or obligation
Saying yes to sex, just to keep your partner happy
Although these issues may feel isolating, you are not alone in your struggle. Many couples struggle with sexual issues throughout their relationship.
Sex therapy counseling is a specialty within the counseling field that is specifically focused on helping individuals and couples overcome these common obstacles so that you can have the sex life you want.
Seeking counseling for sexual issues can be a difficult process. Many individuals can struggle with shame, guilt, or fear around sexuality. Often these feelings can feed secrecy and keep them at a place where they don't feel deserving of an enjoyable sex life. These feelings may be due to a variety of reasons, and understanding them and knowing how to deal with them is very important. My approach in providing counseling regarding sexual health is to explore the concerns regarding sexuality that meet an individual's needs and desires, while still being in alignment with their personal value system. The Center for Relationship and Sexual Wellness is a private and safe place to talk.
You can learn more about me and my counseling approach on my about page. If you have questions about services, you can find many are answered on my FAQ page. If your question isn’t answered there, feel free to contact me! Are you interested in setting up an appointment? Please call 701-478-4144.