Terry Real is a renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert who has spent decades working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships and communication. In his work, Real has identified a number of ways in which individualism, or the emphasis on the needs and desires of the individual above all else, can be harmful to relationships.
One of the key ways in which individualism can harm relationships is by prioritizing the self over the needs of the relationship. When individuals prioritize their own needs and desires above those of their partner or the relationship itself, it can lead to a lack of connection and understanding between the two. This can result in a sense of disconnection, as the individual is more focused on their own wants and needs rather than those of their partner.
Another way in which individualism can harm relationships is by fostering a sense of entitlement and self-absorption. When individuals believe that they are entitled to have their needs met and that their partner should prioritize their needs above their own, it can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding. This can create resentment and conflict within the relationship, as the individual may feel that their partner is not putting in enough effort to meet their needs.
Real also highlights the ways in which individualism can lead to a lack of accountability within relationships. When individuals prioritize their own desires and needs above those of the relationship, they may be less likely to take responsibility for their actions and may instead blame their partner for any problems or conflicts that arise. This can lead to a lack of trust and a breakdown in communication, as the individual may not feel that their partner is truly supportive or understanding of their needs.
One of the key ways in which Real recommends addressing these issues is through the development of a more interconnected and interdependent approach to relationships. Rather than focusing solely on the needs and desires of the individual, Real encourages couples to work together to create a relationship that meets the needs of both partners. This means working to develop a sense of mutual understanding and empathy, as well as taking responsibility for one's own actions and seeking to support and care for the other person in the relationship.
Overall, Terry Real's work highlights the importance of moving beyond individualism in relationships and instead embracing a more interconnected and interdependent approach. By prioritizing the needs of the relationship and working together to create a sense of mutual understanding and empathy, couples can create stronger, more fulfilling relationships that are not hindered by the negative effects of individualism.