Building Fondness and Admiration

John Gottman is a renowned relationship expert and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, which focuses on helping couples improve their relationships. One of the key concepts he emphasizes in his work is the importance of building fondness and admiration in a relationship. Here are some tips for how to do so:

  1. Practice small acts of kindness: Showing small acts of kindness and generosity towards your partner can help build fondness and admiration. This can be as simple as bringing them their favorite coffee in the morning or surprising them with a thoughtful gift.

  2. Express gratitude: Showing gratitude towards your partner can also help build fondness and admiration. Make an effort to regularly express appreciation and thankfulness for the things they do for you and the relationship.

  3. Show interest in your partner's life: Take an active interest in your partner's life and show them that you care about their passions, interests, and goals. Ask them about their day and listen attentively to what they have to say.

  4. Practice good communication: Effective communication is crucial in any relationship and can help build fondness and admiration. Make an effort to listen actively to your partner and try to see things from their perspective. Avoid criticism and instead focus on expressing your needs and feelings in a positive way.

  5. Support your partner's growth and development: Showing support for your partner's personal growth and development can help build fondness and admiration. Encourage them to pursue their passions and goals, and offer your support and encouragement along the way.

  6. Make time for each other: Making time for each other is important for building fondness and admiration. Set aside quality time to spend together, whether it's going on a date or simply cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie.

  7. Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is an important part of any relationship, and it can help build fondness and admiration. Make an effort to let go of grudges and move on from conflicts, and work towards building a stronger, more positive relationship.

  8. Practice physical affection: Physical affection, such as holding hands, hugging, and cuddling, can help build fondness and admiration. Make an effort to touch and connect with your partner in a physical way.

Building fondness and admiration in a relationship takes effort and intentionality, but it can greatly improve the overall health and happiness of the relationship. By practicing small acts of kindness, expressing gratitude, showing interest in your partner's life, communicating effectively, supporting their growth, making time for each other, practicing forgiveness, and showing physical affection, you can help build a strong foundation of fondness and admiration in your relationship.