When a couple schedules therapy, it is easy to assume they share the same goal. They made the appointment. They arrived together. They are both sitting in the room. But that does not necessarily mean they are both there to work on the relationship.

Grief and grace may seem like separate things, but I have come to believe they are deeply connected. Grief asks us to accept that life will not unfold exactly as we hoped. Grace helps us respond to ourselves and one another within the life that actually unfolds.

One of the most common mistakes we make when trying to understand relationship problems is focusing only on the behavior in front of us.

How couples can continue building a life together while quietly growing apart.