Are you considering marriage or couples counseling, but don't know if it's too late to save your relationship? Often, people grapple with the decision of whether to continue in a relationship or end it. This decision can be one more stressful burden to bear. If you're in this predicament, rest assured, you are not alone.
The Timing of Seeking Help
Research indicates that couples typically endure relationship problems for an average of six years before seeking outside help. By the time they do, about 30% of couples are categorized as 'mixed agenda couples.' These couples enter counseling with differing goals: one partner is 'leaning in' (eager to fix the relationship), while the other is 'leaning out' (uncertain about wanting to stay in the relationship). Sometimes, both partners are leaning out, unsure if they wish to continue.
Introducing Discernment Counseling
If this scenario sounds familiar, Discernment Counseling may be the solution you need. Discernment Counseling offers an opportunity to slow down, take a breath, and explore goal-oriented options for your relationship. This approach differs significantly from typical marriage or relationship counseling. While traditional counseling is beneficial for couples where both partners are motivated to work on the relationship, Discernment Counseling addresses the unique dynamics of a leaning in/leaning out relationship.
How Discernment Counseling Works
The primary objective of Discernment Counseling is to help couples decide whether to restore their marriage to health, move towards divorce, or take more time to make a decision. Unlike conventional relationship counseling, Discernment Counseling is short-term, typically lasting between one to five sessions. After each session, couples decide if they wish to continue with another session.
Goals of Discernment Counseling
The goal of Discernment Counseling is to provide clarity and confidence about the future direction of your relationship. This clarity is achieved through a deeper understanding of your specific situation and its possibilities. The aim is not to solve your marital problems but to determine if they are solvable. This approach helps couples make a well-informed decision about their relationship, reducing the ambiguity and stress that often accompanies such a decision.
The Structure of Discernment Counseling Sessions
Discernment Counseling sessions are structured to facilitate meaningful discussions and reflections. Here’s what you can expect:
Initial Session: In the first session, the counselor will explore the couple's relationship history, the present situation, and each partner's hopes and concerns. This session sets the stage for understanding the dynamics at play.
Individual Sessions: In subsequent sessions, each partner has one-on-one time with the counselor. This allows for personal reflection and a safe space to express individual thoughts and feelings.
Joint Sessions: The counselor brings the couple back together to discuss insights gained from individual sessions and to explore possible paths forward.
Deciding on the Next Step
At the end of each session, couples decide whether to proceed with another session. This iterative process ensures that both partners remain engaged and invested in the process. The ultimate goal is to reach a decision that is well-considered and mutually agreed upon.
The Benefits of Discernment Counseling
Discernment Counseling offers several benefits:
Clarity: It helps couples gain a clearer understanding of their relationship and the issues at hand.
Direction: It provides a structured approach to deciding the future of the relationship.
Short-Term Commitment: With a maximum of five sessions, it requires a relatively short-term commitment compared to traditional counseling.
Focus on Decision-Making: The primary focus is on making a decision rather than attempting to solve all marital problems immediately.
Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?
If you find yourself or your partner uncertain about the future of your relationship, Discernment Counseling could be a valuable step. It is designed for those who are not yet ready to commit to long-term therapy but need assistance in deciding the next steps.
How to Get Started
To learn more about Discernment Counseling and determine if it's the right fit for your relationship, click here or give me a call at 701-478-4144. Taking this step can provide the clarity and confidence you need to make an informed decision about your relationship’s future.
In conclusion, while the journey of deciding the future of a relationship can be challenging, resources like Discernment Counseling offer structured, supportive, and short-term solutions to guide you through this critical decision-making process. Whether you ultimately choose to work on your relationship or part ways, the goal is to reach a decision that feels right for both partners.