When your relationship is in crisis, it can become an overwhelming task to find someone who you can trust to help. You are feeling hurt, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and are looking for a stranger to care for one of the most precious relationships in your life. When a marriage is on the brink of divorce or facing any difficult situation, it can be hard looking to another party for help. Many of my clients have never been in counseling or therapy before, and they frequently discussed their experiences looking for the right couples or marriage counselor for their relationships. Patterns have emerged from my conversations with them and I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic of finding your own couples/marriage counselor.
Your job is to lay low and not to try convince your spouse that her or his ideas are false. There are helpful tips in this quick video!
Has your spouse told you that they are seriously considering divorce? It is not uncommon to go through a wide range of emotions, including: anger, rage, sadness, denial, and/or fear. When your spouse has told you that they want a divorce, you are frequently not your best self. Often, in a state of crisis, behavior can become binary. Either you completely disconnect from your spouse, or you completely suffocate them. You either deny that they were serious and hope for the best while ignoring the subject, or you do EVERYTHING you can think to convince them that you and your marriage are worth fighting for. It is important that you do neither if you wish to save your marriage.
Here are a number of things you can do if your spouse has begun to discuss divorce.
What does science tell us about sex and how does this shape our relationship with our partner? I often hear from couples that their sex life isn't what it was when they first started dating and that they wish they could go back to that time in their relationship. Is it true that the best sex in relationships is when you are just getting to know each other? Actually, science tells us the opposite is true.
The decision to divorce is a difficult one. People often talk to their friends or family members asking them to share their thoughts and opinions. There are many ideas about divorce that are categorically false. Because of this, I've decided to share some little known research regarding divorce that may help inform you or your loved one's decision. If you are interested in speaking with a marriage counselor about your relationship, I'd love to help!