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Should We Even Attempt Marriage Counseling?

Are you considering marriage or couples therapy, but don't know if it's too late to save your relationship? Often, people don't know if they want to continue in a relationship or if it's time to end things. The decision is just one more thing that you have to do. If you are trying to decide between trying to make things work or ending the relationship, you are not alone.

We know that, on average, problems impact a relationship for six years before a couple seeks outside help. The research also shows that by the time a couple seeks help about 30% of those couples are 'mixed agenda couples'. Mixed agenda couples come into therapy with different goals for the therapy process.  Frequently in these relationships, one person is 'leaning in' (wanting to fix it) and the other is 'leaning out' (not knowing if they even want to work on the relationship). Sometimes you have two people leaning out, unsure if they want to continue. 

If this sounds like your relationship, Discernment Counseling is designed for you.  Discernment Counseling is a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at goal-oriented options for your relationship. Discernment Counseling is different from typical marriage/relationship therapy in significant ways. While traditional relationship therapy is helpful for couples where both individuals are motivated to work at making changes in the relationship, Discernment Counseling is intended to help with the unique dynamics in the leaning in/out relationship. The therapist will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage back to health, move toward divorce, or take a time to decide later.  

Unlike typical relationship therapy, Discernment Counseling is short-term and takes place for 1-5 sessions. After each session you will decide if you wish to attend another. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction in your relationship, based on a deeper understanding of your specific situation and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

The Center for Relationship and Sexual Wellness is pleased to offer this unique, specialized service.  As the only certified Discernment Counselor in North Dakota and greater Minnesota, I can help you explore the relationship paths. To learn more about Discernment Counseling click here or give us a call.