Infidelity is one of the main issues I work with on a consistent basis with couples. When they come to counseling, their relationship is already in crisis. The tips above are a good way to start repairing the damage caused by infidelity. Along with the author's 3 tips from the video, I also wanted to share my own advice.
In my previous blog, I gave you a few questions to ask in order to determine if your potential counselor is qualified to intervene in your relationship. In this second half, I will give you thoughts to consider on their particular methodology, or how they will approach your relationship. Some types of therapy work better for certain couples, and finding someone in tune with your values is crucial.
Here are some questions to consider:
When your relationship is in crisis, it can become an overwhelming task to find someone who you can trust to help. You are feeling hurt, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and are looking for a stranger to care for one of the most precious relationships in your life. When a marriage is on the brink of divorce or facing any difficult situation, it can be hard looking to another party for help. Many of my clients have never been in counseling or therapy before, and they frequently discussed their experiences looking for the right couples or marriage counselor for their relationships. Patterns have emerged from my conversations with them and I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic of finding your own couples/marriage counselor.
Your job is to lay low and not to try convince your spouse that her or his ideas are false. There are helpful tips in this quick video!
Has your spouse told you that they are seriously considering divorce? It is not uncommon to go through a wide range of emotions, including: anger, rage, sadness, denial, and/or fear. When your spouse has told you that they want a divorce, you are frequently not your best self. Often, in a state of crisis, behavior can become binary. Either you completely disconnect from your spouse, or you completely suffocate them. You either deny that they were serious and hope for the best while ignoring the subject, or you do EVERYTHING you can think to convince them that you and your marriage are worth fighting for. It is important that you do neither if you wish to save your marriage.
Here are a number of things you can do if your spouse has begun to discuss divorce.